ESSAYS/Untitled/By Barbara Meyers ©2000
Not all failed marriages end in divorce. Some of them end in death. Not necessarily the death of one of the partners.
One of the great truths no one ever speaks about marriage is most of them die long before they’re over. Husbands and wives are the silent killers. No one knows why. Perhaps that’s why it remains a secret, an unexplainable mystery.
Men and women exist within the confines of deceased relationships. Do they realize this while they’re smothering under the weight of a dead marriage? Something’s not right. They’ve been buried alive. Divorce would be like driving a butcher knife into a corpse. Redundant and pointless. That much they know.
A coffin should be a mandatory wedding gift for every couple. Much like a hope chest. Only in reverse.
For into it shortly after the honeymoon will go the shattered illusions. Every year, as an anniversary celebration, destroyed dreams can be added.
The traditional gift of paper for the tenth year can be replaced by disappointment.
Instead of silver on the 25th, add bitterness and contempt.
If it’s not full already, on the 50th, put all the tears inside. Oh, wait we need another coffin. This one’s full.
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Whoa! That’s amazing, and SO cynical and depressing — and TRUE! Making a coffin a mandatory wedding gift – great idea. Oh, now it’s making me cry. Good job.
My dad and I used to joke about sending sympathy cards each time we received a wedding invitation. 🙂
Your writing is cynical and negative. “A coffin should be a mandatory wedding gift for every couple.” really hurt me.
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Reblogged this on Romancing the Funny Bone and commented:
This is my most popular post…ever!